Another Four Star General, another dead black kid

Like peanut butter and jelly, you just can't have a dead black kid without some poster boy for white privilege standing before microphones in all their four star glory.

The latest General with a self-awarded rank higher than that of Founding Father and President George Washington, is Sheriff Joseph "I outrank Grant and Lee" Lopinto.

Now, while most stolen valor posers will don the four stars on each shoulder - or each side of their collar - like the real men of the real military does, this baby boy, unsure as to how real men dress themselves in our armed forces, went for the overkill.

And thus you behold him in all his SIXTEEN STAR glory, as this ignorant poser has donned four stars on his left shoulder, four stars on his right shoulder, and in case you didn't notice them, another four stars on this left collar and another four stars on his right!

Pity his poor wife who has to pin those on to his shirt each morning after starching and ironing his Superman underoos.  I give him credit, though.  The bath towel cape he is without a doubt wearing is well tucked in, and unnoticeable in his pretty white faux military attire.

But what of the death of the black kid?  Oh, his name was Keeven Robinson.  Why, does it matter what his name was?  He was found with "significant traumatic injuries" that were "consistent with asphyxiation".  Had he been white, this would be called "murdered by strangulation".  This happened while he was in the custody of four of the General's white soldiers.  Er, I mean, four of the Sheriff's deputies who happened to be Caucasian.  

But really, must we dwell on that death?  I mean, it's not like anything is going to be done about it.  The mealy mouthed coroner already assured the press that "homicide by medical diagnosis" is not the same as "legal homicide", so really, it's not like there's a crime here.  I mean, what part of "black kid" don't you understand?

The General, when asked by our "free press" if chokeholds were used (because they're not supposed to be, given how they cause death so routinely) answered, "Well, golly now, we don't tell our deputies to use bricks, but if they're under attack and defending their lives, and a brick is laying about, then sure, you use a brick."  I paraphrase, but besides it being expressed a bit dumber, that was the jist.

Cop-ese for "Yes, we routinely use strangleholds on crack addicts, crazies and coloreds, because we can.  Had he had the sense to be born a white girl or rich man, this non-tragedy could have been averted."

Well, let us pray our thanks tonight that Jefferson County, Louisiana is guarded not by some mere officer of the law, but by this sixteen star Generalissimo.  And that he had four husky armed soldiers to "defend" we the people against that unarmed black youth who - in fairness - did have a gun in his car 200 yards away.  

And you know how quick they can run and jump, eh?  Yeah.

In the end, the only important thing is that those "men" got home safely.  And they did.  And it's not like they've not been punished.  Each of them is drawing full pay while sitting at a desk telling jokes about watermelons and fried chickens, so really, justice has been done, eh?

At least such "justice" as is to be found in General Lopinto's America.